Dr. Joe Dilley and David Podley talk about how two partners can both talk about the same financial issue yet not be communicating at all.
How to tell if you and your partner are putting different meanings on the same thing
If you and your partner are talking about finances and things start to escalate, your problem may be that the situation you see may be different than the situation your partner sees. You may agree that the purchase you’re talking about is $250, but you may feel that the $250 has either a greater or lesser impact on your financial situation than your partner does.
If you’re in this situation and you disagree with the impact of a dollar figure, ask your partner to rate on a scale of 1 to 10 what the impact of this amount today has on your future goals.
If you’re working on figuring out what a term or goal (such as retirement or college savings) means to you, get into the details of what this idea looks like to you. For example, Does retirement mean lots of golf or does it mean turning a hobby into another source of income? Feel free to explore and investigate these ideas with your partner. You will not only learn what these things mean to your partner, but you’ll have a better picture of what they mean to you as well.
Prevent disappointments by clarifying goals and the steps you will take to get there
If you don’t clarify your goals you run the risk of being significantly disappointed. Researchers have found that your level disappointment in a situation is the difference between your expectations and the reality. Talking about each of your goals will help reduce disappointments.
Having different views of money can be a great asset to your relationship
Remember that your partner’s differing views on money can help balance out your views and bring great strength to your marriage.
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