I read Trent’s thoughts on his first memory of money over at The Simple Dollar and it helped me to start thinking about things. In my financial planning practice I have begun asking couples to discuss their first memories of money and I’ve realized that our first memories of money can be important to helping us understand why we spend the way we do and how we value money.
Why is this memory important?
The first memory may seem trivial, but for some reason it wasn’t at the time. It lodged in your memory. For some people, it may be a controlling parent. For others, it might be the loss of something valuable and not being able to afford the purchase of a replacement. Or it may be a happier thought…perhaps receiving a gift that was valuable or earning a quarter for a job done around the house.
A controlling parent may cause us to hoard or hide our finances from a spouse. Remembering that a parent never had a steady job may lead someone to not want to take career risks, and even prevent their spouse from taking steps toward an entrepreneurial venture.
My first memory is realizing that people shop at different stores based on how much money they have. As a five year old, I didn’t quite get that some people live in poverty, but I did realize that the more money you have, the nicer the things you can buy.
Soon after I learned this, I began working around the house (and eventually the neighborhood) doing odd jobs in order to buy whatever stuff a young boy would buy.
Talking with your partner about their first memories may help you understand their spending better. Rarely does a couple see eye-to-eye when it comes to spending. One spouse wants to spend more than the other, leading one partner to feel controlled and the other restricted. When we know why our partner wants to spend (or restrict spending) we can make adjustments that help strengthen our relationship.
Share your memory with others
I would love to have some of you leave comments on your first memories of money in the comments section. We’ll have Dr. Dilley dissect some of them in our next podcast and talk about what you’ve realized and what lessons others can learn from them.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
The first time I remember money is when I was about six years old………..My Mom and her boyfriend and freinds were all at our house and they just decided to start filling up my piggy bank with change. I thought it was great………..later I counted it and it came to about seven dollars……this was back in 1965. The next day I took about four of my friends down to the store and bought every body drinks and candy………it was great. I never had remorse and I didn’t think I was a big shot…..I was just the one with the money and we all wanted candy. I was not wealthy but quite poor…but for a six year old I never new I was poor.
My first memory of money was when I was 6 to 7 years old. My father let me pick the pennies out of his “spare change” when he came home from work each night. I also collected “loose” pennies I found on the ground, etc. One day I realised I had enough to purchase a toy cap gun at a neighborhood “stop and rob”. I kept the pennies in a small glass jar and always kept it hidden from my mother…I can’t remember why. One day my mother took me to the “stop and rob” to get her a package of cigarettes – in 1976 anyone could buy cigarettes. Normally she would give me the money and send me in the store while she waited in the station wagon. Well, this time I took my jar into the store with the intention of purchasing the coveted cap pistol. After 5 minutes had elapsed of the poor cashier counting pennies my mother came storming into the store demanding to know what was taking so long. She became infuriated at what I was doing. She yelled at me and dragged me out of the store. Once home she made me give my newly aquired peacemaker away to a neighborhood kid to “teach me a lesson”. To this day I still don’t know what the lession was.
My first memory of money was in 1969 in the first grade when my Daddy explained grades and allowance to me. He said that for every “A” I got, I would receive $0.25 and for every “B” I would get $0.10. When I received my first report card, we counted up my grades and that was my weekly allowance. I had only two “B”s and the rest “A”s so I was getting a great allowance. It taught me the correlation between hard work and good pay.